2011, in retrospect

I know it’s the 2nd week of 2012, and i know the last-year-wrap-up-post is clichè, and well I guess I don’t really care. The thing is, I find it kind of hard to start fresh without being sure where I currently stand. And thanks to this short term memory of mine, I just need to put it in writing as some kind of reminder, some kind of monument.

The year started as usual, with the “I will move on” resolution. It was a slow climb, although at first I thought I’d gotten somewhere. Eventually I didn’t.

Thankfully then came the trips. Oh the trips. Old places, new places, old friends, new friends, and a lot of new experiences.

Then came the concerts. Two of my favorite singer/songwriters, old faves, new bands, and a rocking festival.

Then came the challenging project at work, the grueling days of overtime and finally the success afterwards, which was truly a good example of getting by with a little (make that a LOT of) help from my friends.

ah yes, there were my friends, who have been enduring me and standing by me, not only throughout 2011, but also long before, some dating back to 1999. To you, beautiful souls, I give the credit of my survival from this year.

In between, there was too much room that I spared for all the drama. I wish I hadn’t, I wish I was a little wiser, but then again I was never smart enough to handle feelings. There was the misinterpretation of things, followed by pure stubbornness on my side (is that a word, by the way?), and then in the end there was just me standing amidst the ruins of my supposedly formidable fortress.

2011, had its ups and a whole lot of downs. I hope I learnt a lesson.
2012, you may bring it on.

[carpe diem].[seize the day]

tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok tik tok

waktu berjalan…dan tiga ratus enam puluh lima hari siap dibundel jadi satu untuk diberi label ‘tahun lalu’. sama instantnya dengan dua puluh empat jam dibundel jadi satu untuk diberi label ‘kemarin’.

orang-orang kini mulai sibuk. menyimpulkan dan bertanya.

tahun lalu adalah… bagaimana tahun depan. menyimpulkan dan bertanya. ke diri sendiri dan ke orang lain. seolah-olah begitu penting. ‘kita perlu menyimpulkan kemarin, karena kita belajar dari masa lalu’, katanya. ‘kita perlu rencanakan esok, karena kita butuh pedoman’, ucapnya.

kenapa? kenapa kesampingkan hari ini? kenapa kecilkan makna ‘sekarang’?

sekarang adalah pilihan. sekarang adalah tindakan. bukan angan atau kenangan.