Your Job is NOT Your Career

Today I was on the verge of my wits’ end, and ended up googling the words “I hate this job”

I am not a quitter, mind you. Never was, and hopefully never will be. I have always been one of those people that whenever someone tells me “You’ll never be able to pull it off”, it just adds fuel to my fire of determination.

I WILL prove them wrong.

But the past year has found me overworked yet underutilized. How is that possible? Well, I guess that’s what happens when you’re in an organization that’s “lean” in support functions. However, “lean” only works when there’s a good infrastructure and system in place. If things are still done manually, “lean” doesn’t work. And that is why I now feel stuck with too much paperwork, and too little time to actually do the projects that adds value.

It would be so easy to blame the situation, blame the supervisors, and the management. But then again I had to ask myself

What have I done to make the situation better? Have I made changes to the current “system”? Or at least propose a change?

This post by Edward Suhadi is one of my many favorites from his blog. I think the man is not just an amazing photographer and entrepreneur, he’s a very good writer as well. When I first read that post, I remember thinking : That’s easy for him to say. He’s making a living from his passion, which also happens to be one of the coolest jobs in the world. What about the rest of us unfortunate people?

Oy, the green eyed monster! It finds its prey so easily. Then after a while I thought :

Maybe the reason there’s so many people who aren’t  “lucky” enough to be able and make a living out of their passion, is because there’s not enough people brave enough to try.

So in 2013, I guess my challenge will be this : how good can I prepare myself? Banzai!

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H-3 : Three Little Birds

“Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right! ”

Rise up this mornin’,
Smile with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin’, (“This is my message to you-ou-ou: “)

Singin’: “Don’t worry ’bout a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”
Singin’: “Don’t worry (don’t worry) ’bout a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right! ”

Rise up this mornin’,
Smiled with the risin’ sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin’ sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin’, “This is my message to you-ou-ou: ”

Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. Don’t worry! ”
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing” – I won’t worry!
“‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”

Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right” – I won’t worry!
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing,
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right.”
Singin’: “Don’t worry about a thing, oh no!
‘Cause every little thing gonna be all right!

Marley is the man brah! Huhuhu, dari dulu suka sama lagu ini, dan sudah beberapa bulan terngiang-ngiang di kepala. Tepatnya, sejak bachelorette party salah satu teman saya.

Waktu itu, bachelorette party diadakan dalam kondisi semi darurat dan masih ada beberapa hal krusial yang belum beres. Alhasil ada momen-momen ditengah tawa kami ketika bride-to-be-nya mendadak teringat berbagai hal yang belum beres itu, dan mulai berkaca-kaca. Di penghujung malam, dan nyaris di penghabisan tawa kami, lagi-lagi teman saya itu mulai panik soal urusan pernikahannya.

Tepat ketika dia mulai berkaca-kaca dan menangiskan kata-kata “Undangan gue gimana iniiiih?” …tepat saat itu juga house band memainkan lagu ini : “Don’t you worry, about a thing. Every little thing is gonna be alright”, to which the bridal shower party chimed into song and started singing it to the bride-to-be. 

Momen tersebut selalu teringat sampai saat ini, dan menjadi reminder untuk diri saya sendiri. Setiap kali saya mulai berpikir panik tentang berbagai kemungkinan yang bisa membuat perencanaan saya berantakan, saya menyanyikan lagu ini dalam hati untuk ingat bahwa semuanya akan baik-baik saja. As John Lennon said, life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. Maka silakan berencana sepuas hati, tapi buat saya sekarang lebih penting mempersiapkan diri untuk pasrah.

Here’s three other little birds that makes me happy : 

Souvenir Siraman 🙂

H-25 : If I Knew Then What I Know Now

Daisypath berkata 3 minggu dan 3 hari lagi menjelang hari saya diperistri. What is that word? Diperistri? Dijadikan istri? As if menjadi istri adalah cita-cita. Kenapa nggak ada dipersuami? Ah gender bias, how I dislike thee.

Semantics aside, mari kita reka ulang kalimat tersebut menjadi : 3 minggu dan 3 hari lagi menjelang hari saya memiliki seorang partner hidup.

Oh wow.

Drama sudah semakin tak terhitung.

Kebaya akad & resepsi gagal 1 bulan menuju hari H? Been there.

Pusing seputar pengaturan panitia keluarga? Done that.

Kena slepet di rapat keluarga? Oh chenchuuu.

..

.

I am so much more excited about the marriage than the wedding. Yeah I know I’ve said that. I don’t know why I said it like it’s a bad thing. It’s a good thing. It’s a reminder of what truly matters. 

Then I came across this post by Edward Suhadi 

and now I am slowly letting go. Of all the things that are beyond my control. All the things that didn’t go the way I expected it to be. All my concept and color schemes slowly falling down into the abyss of “ya udahlah ini juga bagus kok”. 

I am learning not to care, as the only thing to care about is that I am getting married. I am gaining a life partner, whom I chose, and chose me as well. To begin the rest of our lives together. 

And I love him more for the fact that he still has enough patience to remind me : 

“You can choose to sulk and have a crappy time, or we can laugh about it together and have a great time.”

I wish I remembered that since day one, instead of letting pressure from other people *hello parents* take over me.

Selamat Jalan, Pak Syaiful

Orang datang dan pergi, numpang permisi dalam cerita pendek hidup kita. Itu alami.

Manusia lahir dan mati setiap harinya. Itu juga alami.

Beberapa hari lalu saya mendapat kabar duka, salah seorang kenalan saya di kantor terdahulu meninggal karena kanker. Beliau adalah salah satu mentor saya ketika menjalani program pendidikan eksekutif, salah satu sosok leader yang selalu menginspirasi.

Pak Syaiful adalah sosok yang selalu dapat melihat hal positif dalam diri semua orang, dan percaya bahwa kita memiliki potensi yang dapat dikembangkan. Dalam beberapa kesempatan, kata-kata beliaulah yang membuat saya percaya diri untuk menjalankan beberapa tugas yang sepertinya terlalu “besar” untuk karyawan se-Junior saya.

Setelah beliau pensiun, masih terasa  kental berbagai “peninggalan” beliau di organisasi tersebut.

Semangatnya

Etos kerjanya

Selera humornya

Jargon-jargonnya

dan anak-anak didiknya.

Menurut saya, seorang pemimpin hebat dapat diukur dari perkembangan anak buahnya. Rekan-rekan yang pernah menjadi team Pak Syaiful sampai kini memegang teguh etos kerjanya, dan mencerminkan compassion yang dimilikinya. He emphasized on the human side of human resources, and his judgments always considered the humane thing to do in each situation.

Hari ini di pemakaman beliau, saya melihat bagaimana beliau begitu dicintai, mulai dari karyawan level terendah sampai mantan CEO turut hadir menyampaikan belasungkawa dan berbagi kenangan masa-masa bersama beliau.

Tadinya saya sudah mempersiapkan satu undangan untuk Bapak. Terbayangkan betapa senangnya reuni team HR Niaga nanti. Tapi mungkin memang Tuhan sudah punya rencana lain yang lebih baik untuk Bapak ya.

Selamat Jalan Pak Syaiful, selamat beristirahat. Semoga diberikan ketenangan dan tempat yang terbaik di sisi-Nya.

 

Losing A Friend

I couldn’t think of better words to describe how I felt watching the Cardigans’ concert in Jakarta last night. It really did feel much like losing a friend. I have to say, that compared to the concerts I’ve previously been to, this is the one I went to with least preparation on my behalf. I didn’t replay the albums cover to cover and I didn’t memorize the lyrics. Maybe I’ve gotten less excited because the show was clearly titled “Gran Turismo Tour”, and I wasn’t too crazy over GT.

Musically, I guess it did show more maturity from their previous work. But personally, I identified more with their earlier work such as Emmerdale. I went so far as to posting comments on their website asking them to play their earlier albums and not make the show too GT, although I don’t know whether or not they read it.

Anyways, during the concert I thought there must be a reason why they dubbed this the Gran Turismo tour, even though it was not their last album. I guess the band evolved, and their preferences changed as they matured. Which I suppose is a good thing actually, compared to packaging the same old riffs with different lyrics instead like the common mistake done by so many other bands who hit big early.

This is why I said it’s like losing a friend. You know how after 10 years you often don’t relate to your high school best friends anymore? The ones you were inseparable from, the ones you talk on the phone to every night, and whose shoulders you cried on? You’ve grown, and they’ve grown, and most often not in the same direction. It’s good for them, but you just don’t relate in the same way you used to. And as a friend, you applaud them for having grown that much. It would be selfish if you ask them to return to the way they used to hang out with at the time. Well, this is the same thing.

The concert itself was brilliant, featuring amazing lightworks, prime vocals from Nina and nice interaction from the band. They couldn’t stop taking pictures of the crowd, and expressing their joy that we knew the songs.

Another highlight : this is the first ever concert me & Abang went to together as a couple. Huhuhu… and although he’s not so much into live music as I am, I’m touched that he gave a lot of effort to enjoy it as much as I do.  :’)

Lovefools!
Thank You for the Music 🙂

Tentang Puasa dan Toleransi

First of all, buat teman-teman yang berpuasa, saya ucapkan selamat menjalankan ibadah puasa, semoga lancar dan puasanya dapat mengajak kita memberi makna baru pada syukur dan keseharian masing-masing.

Posting ini sebenarnya adalah puncak dari keresahan yang sudah lama menumpuk, dan dipicu oleh berita berikut yang saya peroleh dari tweet teman saya. Himbauan semacam ini bukan hal baru, sudah cukup sering nampaknya menjadi wacana setiap kali bulan puasa. Dan untungnya, sejauh ini saya rasa pemerintah masih cukup bijak untuk tidak menjadikan himbauan tersebut sebuah peraturan. Namun setiap kali wacana ini muncul, saya tidak bisa mengingkari munculnya keresahan saya pribadi.

Selalu atas nama toleransi dan menghormati yang beribadah. Saya bisa berikan banyak contoh bahwa terkadang negara ini bias, dimana toleransi dan rasa hormat terhadap ibadah hanya diberikan ke kelompok agama tertentu, namun bukan itu masalahnya disini.

Untuk saya pribadi, wacana seperti ini justru “menyentil” kedewasaan iman saya. Apa iya, saya mendadak akan batalin puasa cuma karena lihat ada es cendol dengan sirup warna merah kuning hijau di etalase toko? Apa iya, iman saya segitu ceteknya sampai karena lihat orang makan steak fresh from the grill terus saya ikutan makan sebelum waktunya?

Saya rasa tidak.

Kalau saya tidak salah – ini sepemahaman saya lho ya, mohon dikoreksi kalau salah – pada dasarnya Shaum itu adalah pengendalian diri. Bukan semata tidak makan, tidak minum, dan tidak ini itu, melainkan mengendalikan hawa nafsu. Yang artinya – kembali lagi ini sepemahaman saya – dengan kita mengurangi faktor “godaan” (kalau memang bisa disebut demikian), buat saya kok ya rasanya curang.

Hidup adalah pilihan. Begitupun beribadah. Hal sekecil apapun dalam keseharian kita adalah pilihan. Terkadang kita tahu itu pilihan yang salah atau dilarang, tapi toh kita pilih juga. Pada akhirnya tentu kita harus belajar untuk menerima konsekuensi dari pilihan tersebut. Bukankah begitu intinya menjadi manusia dewasa?

Ditambah lagi, penduduk Indonesia itu tidak semuanya beragama Islam, maka tidak semuanya menjalankan ibadah puasa. Di mana toleransi untuk mereka? Lalu apa kabar rejeki pemilik rumah makan?

Satu hal yang aneh di negara ini, seringkali kita salah mengidentifikasi pokok permasalahan. Lebih suka yang kuratif daripada preventif.

Kalau sampai orang-orang begitu mudahnya tergoda untuk tidak berpuasa cuma karena lihat rumah makan, maka jelas yang salah bukanlah rumah makannya melainkan pemahaman orang tersebut tentang ibadah puasa. Kalau mau mencegah, perbaiki pemahaman tersebut melalui pendidikan agama yang benar. Pemahaman konsep yang bukan semata ritual kosong.

But then again, agama buat saya adalah ranah pribadi. And it begins at home.

Dan maka itu, semoga wacana ini selamanya cuma sebatas himbauan, bukan peraturan. Demi kedewasaan iman anak-anak saya nanti, dan demi kemampuan mereka mewujudkan toleransi sebenar-benarnya tanpa bias.

Amin.

All You Need is Love

Another quote from a Beatle. But it just rang true.

I spoke to a friend the other day and we were discussing how some of our smartest, brightest, most attractive friends are stuck in a relationship rut. They’re either longing for a relationship but haven’t been able to establish one, or in a relationship with unavailable men. By this I speak broadly and include those who are in an imaginary relationship —more popularly known as bertepuk sebelah tangan— , those who are in (constant painstaking attemp to establish) a relationship with unavailable men, and those who are in a relationship with emotionally unavailable men.

I’ve been there, I’ve done all that, and I know how painful it is. Believe me, I know.

I am ever so grateful and feel really lucky to meet someone that I’m constantly in love with, as much as he is with me, and that we find a way to nurture a healthy coexistence between the two of us.

And now I know this :

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.

We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.

— John Lennon

My dear friend says she hasn’t found a way to love and accept herself. She’s a very beautiful, nice and smart person. How could that be? So here’s to you, my friend. May you slowly find a way to love and cherish yourself as much as I love and cherish you.