cuma katarsis

Referring to someone’s comment on a former post : YES, I am one of the people who answers and reposts bulletins. which is really the catalisator of my writing the former posted blog. It wasn’t a critic to other people, it included me as part of the people. In a way, I see these bulletins as a tool. I saw that most people (include me in it if you like), are using these bulletins as a media to express themselves either anonimously or recklessly.

sometimes the topics of these bulletins are just downright ridiculous. and for certain members of society who doesn’t have the privilege of being able to act ridiculously in everyday life, answering and posting these bulletins are a great and cheap outlet for their perhaps rarely used frivolity. for others, perhaps lonely people, these bulletins are an aid to attempt reaching others in the hope of achieving human contact. perhaps it is the safest way of putting themselves on a limb, trying to be funny for some, trying to be serious for others, trying to be honest, to look perfect, and perhaps other goals I haven’t thought of.

Perhaps now there’s a question about the safety I mentioned beforehand. Why? It’s safer because bulletins rarely go noticed. people don’t give too much a damn about your answers and the truthfulness of it, people read it for amusement. and in the end, aren’t we all actually performers at heart? And we are also afraid to take risks. So if there are things that we don’t have the guts to say in real life, perhaps the bulletin board proves to be more beckoning.

Apart from my overanalyzing the situation, I simply use bulletin boards and blogs as a catharsist. Read it if you like, ignore it if you want. It’s really just words.

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pupur dan gincu

matahari perlahan tampak dan embun menipis, lalu perempuan mengawali hari. ritual mini untuk bentuk persepsi, penataan citra diri.

diputihkan kulitnya (bahasa halusnya; pencerahan). agar ia terlihat bersih. dimerahkan pipi dan bibirnya. agar ia terkesan segar. dia lukis wajahnya, pasang topeng untuk peran hari ini. hari esok dan kemarin membawa topeng yang berbeda.

perempuan konsumsi massa, sesuaikan citranya bagi semua mata. pembodohan atas logika. pembodohan atas rasa. jalani hari dengan penipuan. karena manusia senang ditipu.

ketika matahari tak tampak lagi, maka tirai pentas hari diturunkan. pertunjukan berakhir dan saatnya tiba kembali jujur pada diri. lepas topeng perlahan sedikit demi sedikit, dan pertanyaan-pertanyaan membanjiri seketip sel abu-abu di balik paras. ketika pemirsa tiada, siapa saya?

………tulisan ini terpicu oleh banyak hal. yang pertama, kenapa ya perempuan suka sekali mempercantik diri? lebih besar alasan pribadi atau lebih karena tuntutan budaya dan masyarakat? yang kedua, kenapa ya, perempuan seringkali lebih suka menempelkan identitasnya pada entitas di luar dirinya? mungkin tulisannya jadi nggak fokus dan merembet kemana-mana, tapi mungkin memang gue belum menangkap esensinya keperempuanan? oh iya…terpicu juga oleh beberapa komentar yang mengatakan bahwa tingkah laku gue kurang perempuan. maka gue jadi bingung, apa yang disebut perempuan? ada yang bisa jawab?