best imitation of myself

i feel like a quote out of context, witholding the rest

(best imitation of myself, by Ben Folds Five)

why is it that people tend to try so hard to make people see them as they wish to be seen? why can’t we realize that these charades bring forth only two outcomes, both as undesirable as the other? it’s just the lesser of two evils :

1. you carry on life with your own script, when actually others read between the lines where the truth actually lies.

2. you fabulously deceive others with your remarkable acting that they actually believe it’s you they’re interacting with.

there is no way of being truthful that eliminates any chance of getting hurt. there is no way to connect without being truthful. so is being disconnected the answer? try to lie to yourself about that. how silly that a bulletin brings forth these answers.

1. Ketika lo marah,apa yang akan lo lakukan?
tahan, tahan, tahan, lalu biarkan meledak semua jadi serpihan bunga api

2. Ketika lo sedih,apa yang akan lo lakukan?
pura-pura nggak sedih

3. Ketika lo menyadari kekurangan lo?
pura-pura nggak sadar

4. Ketika lo menyadari kelebihan lo?
gunakanlah untuk menolong orang lain..

5. Ketika seseorang menyatakan cinta ke lo?
mencoba falsifikasi

6. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo jatuh cinta?
terjun bebas

7. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo sakit hati karna cinta?
pura-pura nggak

8. Ketika lo menyadari kalo orang yang lo cintai itu mempermainkan lo?
pura-pura nggak cinta

9. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo cuma dimanfaatin orang?
senyum pahit

10. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo menyakiti orang
yang lo cintai?

be numb…

11. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo ketemu soulmate lo?

12. Ketika lo menyadari apa arti cinta yang sesungguhnya?
saatnya memutuskan, untuk mencinta atau tidak

13. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo kehilangan orang yang lo sayang dan dia nyakitin lo?
say goodbye. pura-pura nggak sakit.

14. Ketika lo ga bisa melakukan apa2 lagi di dunia ini?
nggak mungkin

15. Ketika lo menyadari klo lo ga ada lagi di dunia ini?
what else to do but watch?

16. Ketika lo menyadari klo perasaan lo dipermainkan orang?
pura-pura ga merasa.

17. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo mempermainkan perasaan seseorang yang sayang sm lo?
stop playing.

18. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo merusak keadaan?

19. Ketika lo menyadari kalo lo punya sifat n sikap buruk?
and i try… to fix it

20. Ketika lo menyadari kalo Tuhan itu ga adil?
been there. realized fairness is a weird concept.

21. Ketika di dunia ini ga ada lg yang sayang sm lo?
hope i can still rely on myself

22. Ketika pikiran lo kosong?
biar insting yang mengatur

23. Ketika lo kangen seseorang?

24. Ketika perasaan lo ga’ enak?
tambah garam? merica?

25. Ketika lo menyadari siapa lo yang sebenarnya?
that would be great.

overlooking the obvious

ugh…today would be one of those days where I would sigh and grunt every several minutes or so.

sometimes, the tolls of life can burden itself on your shoulders as such that all you ever see is that thing sitting upon your shoulders. and you overlook the fact that your toll is chickenshit compared to other people’s problems. and you overlook the fact that beside you is a hand, helping you carry that weight… and you sigh, you grunt, you cast a curse on the world for the wretched life that you lead. and you forgot.

you forgot about the hand. you forgot that you’re in reality not alone, not so burdened, and not leading a wretched life at all.

sometimes I lose that objectivity in looking on my life and each moment, each event happening in it. sometimes I think that I am the only person that matters on earth. call me egoistical, call me selfish, call me histrionic. to me, my problem is that I am continually overlooking the obvious. call it defensive, call it denial. call it what ever you want. I don’t know what you’re talking about.